I’m gonna let you in on a secret.
I start a new piece of content almost every single day. And every single day, I don’t know how — or where — to start.
I won’t pretend to you that I’m the best writer in the world, or that I don’t deal with writing anxiety. I almost never put out anything that I would consider 100% perfect. But last year, I published over one hundred and fifty articles — and made a full-time living as a professional writer. And you know what? None of it was perfect, but a lot of it was pretty darn good.
As I said, I’m not perfect, but not being perfect was never holding me back from my writing career. What stood in my way for years was my writing perfectionism — the belief that every word I put on a page had to be the right word.
What is writing perfectionism?
Professional writers know something that aspiring writers haven’t quite embraced yet: you may love words, but writing is a numbers game. The more words you write, the better you get. The more work you publish, the more you can earn. And the more you put out there, the better you get, the more you realize… some of your writing sucks.
The tricky thing about writing perfectionism is that it feels valid. After all, it makes sense. There are good writers and there are bad writers, right? And if you’re not a good writer, you shouldn’t even try.
The thing is, none of that is true. Not one bit. Dealing with your writing perfectionism (and finally putting it to rest) means challenging those automatic thoughts and doing something different. Instead of feeling trapped by your perfectionist tendencies, you can build strategies to work around and through them.
First, we have to understand what they’re trying to tell you.
What is the source of writing perfectionism?
Many of us that deal with writing perfectionism battle perfectionist tendencies in other areas of our lives. Some of us may laugh it off (“Oh, I’m a recovering perfectionist”) while some of us may brag about our high standards. But in reality, perfectionism comes from one root cause.
Fear.
It might be fear of being judged, fear of writing itself, or fear that we won’t be able to make a living doing what we love. But however we dress it up, perfectionism is rooted in fear.
What is perfectionism a symptom of?
Most of the time, we become perfectionists because we genuinely want to do a good job. After all, we care about what we’re writing about and so we want our writing to be perfect. When we get stuck in this cycle, procrastination can set in. We may start taking long breaks from writing or avoid starting at all because our anxiety feels overwhelming every time we try. Both perfectionism and procrastination are symptoms of writing anxiety. When we let it get in our way, it makes it harder and harder to start, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Perfectionists aren’t just people with high standards — they struggle with feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and (often) generalized anxiety. Many times, we become perfectionists when we begin to identify closely with our work and begin to stress about the outcomes. We think we’ll fall short. But paradoxically, we hold ourselves to such a high standard that we can’t ever measure up.
This often leads to procrastination. Procrastination is often caused by perfectionism. When tasks are too difficult or feel too daunting, we become paralyzed with our perfectionist thoughts — which leads us to avoid doing anything at all.
The first step in overcoming perfectionism-related procrastination? Identifying your sources of anxiety and learning how they manifest themselves — so you can work on them directly before tackling your writing issues. But if you don’t have time for a hundred sessions of EMDR before your next deadline? You can still get that perfectionism out of your way.
How do writers deal with perfectionism?
Perfectionism doesn’t always look like an unrelenting adherence to impossible standards. For many writers, it can manifest as procrastination, anxiety, and a general feeling of inadequacy. These blockers — and the way they show up for each of us — are often rooted in our upbringing or past experiences. For example, if our parents were perfectionists, we may have internalized that perfectionism is the only way to be successful. Or, if we’ve experienced failure in the past, we may be afraid of failing again. As adults, that little voice in our heads — our inner critic — often repeats what we grew up believing as children. But although it can be hurtful, that voice isn’t really trying to harm us. At its root, our perfectionist impulses are trying to keep us safe.
However, perfectionism is ultimately harmful because it prevents us from making progress. It’s important to learn how to deal with perfectionism so that you can overcome it and achieve your writing goals. Here are some strategies you can use to begin understanding and unpacking it:
1. Acknowledge your fear
What are you afraid of? If you put your work out there, what’s the worst-case scenario? How likely is it to happen, and can you survive it?
Most of the things that we’re afraid of won’t result in death or bodily harm. We probably won’t even lose our livelihoods or permanently damage our relationships. We’re most likely afraid of judgment or rejection. It can be helpful to work through that fear with a therapist, trusted loved one, journal, or coach.
2. Look at which aspects of your perfectionism you want to change
Perfectionism isn’t all bad. There are lots of admirable qualities that go with perfectionism that are hugely beneficial to writers — like attention to detail, conscientiousness, a desire to improve, and openness to feedback. We don’t necessarily want to get rid of perfectionism. We want to practice noticing when we’d be better served by a different approach.
3. Develop self-compassion
The self-talk of people with perfectionist traits tends to be notoriously toxic. Listen to that inner voice. Is what it’s saying kind? Is it true? Is it helpful? Even if you think it’s accurate, I’ll stand on this truth — no one ever shames themselves into being a better writer.
On the other hand, self-compassion is more than just “good vibes.” Developing a kinder way of talking to yourself and approaching setbacks can actually make you more resilient. And it doesn’t cost the same emotional energy that beating yourself up does.
4. Don’t be afraid to share
Sometimes, the best thing I can do is just tell the people around me how I’m feeling. You’d be surprised how relatable perfectionism is. Everyone’s had the experience of getting stuck in their head about something. It can happen even if that something is “simple,” if it’s something that you’ve done a million times before, or even something you were excited to work on. Often, voicing those feelings is the fastest way to work through them.
5. Keep growing
Lastly, writing perfectionism can be a valid way of identifying areas where you feel you need to grow. That’s not a bad thing. Continuing to hone your writing skills will help you become more confident, find paid gigs, and connect with the people who want to hear what you have to say. And chances are, when you connect to learning and growing for its own sake — not to cover a perceived deficit — you’ll begin to fall in love with your craft all over again.
